Smothered

I don't want to feel these tears
They well up behind my eyes
But you've been gone for what feels like years
And I keep telling myself lies
From somewhere comes the faint scent of you
And it knocks me over
Honeysuckle, jasmine, roses in bloom
Never moved me this way
Memories overwhelm and drown me
I'm falling, sinking, buried alive
Why did you have to leave
I'm lost in the nowhere
The nothing you left behind
And there is no way home.

Relapse

Under my skin
My veins are burning
Shards of glass
Ripping
With every beat of my heart
Silently screaming
For I can't draw a breath
My tears catch in my throat
Choking, strangling,
Robbing my will.
I can't live like this,
My soul is sore, torn.
Alone, so alone
Someone please take my hand.
I can't see the way,
My eyes are no use
My spirit bleeds from them.
I'm shaking, I'm shaken
Losing, lost...
Find me... again.

Dissolve

All your might
Is in vain
No matter the effort
The result the same

You're grasping at threads
Unraveling
Shattering
Life undone
Coming apart at the seams

The majestic tapestry
Haphazardly rent and torn
Fraying away
Into oblivion

Plague
Famine
Poverty
Death
The horsemen ride
Upon you tonight

No mercy no pity
You're just a number
Just a statistic

Throw a pill
Down his throat
Maybe it will let him function
Maybe not

Who really needs to heal?
Stick a band-aid on
A dying soul
And pretend that it might work.
Crush the spirit
But keep the body,
We may need the resources.

It's all undone
It's all undone
Life, my bitter pill
Stick it under my tongue.

Iron

Standing here
Is where I belong
Where I have been
Where I will always be
I'm holding on
And standing here
Through fire and through storm
Through anger and hate
Through sorrow and despair
Joy and pain ebb and flow
But still I'm standing here
I felt the fear
Survived the sorrow
Still I'm standing here
I've been knocked over
I've fallen down
I've shed my blood and tears
My heart's been broken
My body bruised
My soul beaten for years
But next to you
Is where I belong
And I'm still standing here

Broken Angel

How loudly does the song of your heart play?
Can you hear it over the raging storms
When the crushing hand of cruelty
Is upon you laid?

Does thunder of your heart beat strong
Even when sorely betrayed?
Can it trumpet its strength
When the dearest becomes your foe?

How loudly does the song of your heart sing
Through the pain
Through the grief?
Does its voice carry
Over the waves of bitterness?
Do its  notes ring true
Through confusion and disappointment?

How loudly does the song of your heart play
Though broken, scarred, and bruised?
Does it have the will, the voice
To soar above it all?

How loudly does the song of your heart play?
In joy, in pain, in sickness, in health,
In fatness, in lean times
Through everything,
Is your heart true?

Breaking Down

Voices in the darkness
Memories of words unsaid
Sights and sounds and smells
This empty lonely bed
I still hear your laughter
When I close my eyes
I still smell your perfume
I still believe the lies
I never thought the worst
I never thought you'd leave
You were my very best friend
You were the one I could believe
And so I lay here waiting
For what I really don't know
'Cause noone's going to show up
'Cause I'm still here alone
And your eyes still haunt me
And your smile breaks my heart
Though they tell me I am ok
They tell me I am fine
But I'm the one who knows better
I'm the one who's broken
I lost myself somehow
My self-made world fell apart
What I thought was real was shattered
Along with my heart
And here I sit in the darkness
On this empty bed
And I still hear your voice
Ringing in my head.

Summer Night

Lip of Cupcake
You ask my eyes
Luscious moon
Don't analyze
Summer's rose
Come kiss me through
Sky of purple
Rain of blue.

Breakup

When every breath
Is inhaling glass
And every heartbeat
A shotgun blast
Every thought
makes you reel
Your body shakes
from top to heel
The tears that flow
The claws that tear
The invisble fists
The visible wear
The raging hurt
The pain and fear
"Betrayed, Betrayed"
The mind, it screams
"Why, why?"
Coming apart at the seams
"Am I so bent and broken now?"
"Is this all there is somehow?"
The anger spreads
As does the doubt
While the rational side
Tries to find a way out
But noone knows the way you feel
Though everyone knows
The way you feel
The loss so deep
The wound so real
No magic bullet,
No silver pill
No golden ticket,
Or iron will
Will make it vanish
Make sorrow cease
Only time
Only love
Only rest
Until peace.

Lost

Though I try to win your heart,
I just can't find the way.
Though I wish to tell you so much,
I don't have the words to say.

Though the tides of warmth and love
Sweep my heart along,
I cannot write one letter, one note,
Much less one song.

The darkness,
the coldness of night,
Upon my heart grows long.
And the noise of nothing surrounds us,
The sounds of an imaginary throng.

But it's not the sound of shouts,
or skirmishers into the fray.
It's neither the night nor the darkness,
But the silence that's in our way.

A Dream of You

Summer's change had turns remembered;
Rain,
Let us romance the gentle dark.
Why sleep always and hurry blessed moon?
Cold sky, throw light to balmy wind;
Blow every candle like breathless song.

Come snow barrage!
Dance, run and fall!

Were spring-time moon ever vanished,
And summer sun always rushing,
Shall nothing change this cold dream?

Empty!
One moment,
How long?
Why care?
Need touch and see.

Open sky hold me yet;
Dark wind tune,
Sound morning's gold hour.