"I never wanted this!" Amy nearly screamed at him. The tears had started to stream from the corners of her eyes. The little makeup she wore had run down to her chin.
Jim was miserable. "You can't have it both ways Amy," he replied quietly. "You can't just come running back to me every time someone else hurts you." He breathed deeply as he saw the tears glisten on Amy's face. The sheen of those tears on her soft skin turned him inside out. "I told you... I told you I couldn't be this for you anymore. Why don't you understand? Why are you always this way? I was always here for you, always here when you needed someone. But you could only be here for me when it was convenient. When something better came along you were gone, chasing whatever it was. I told you..." He was finding it hard to breathe. "I can't be what you want me to be."
Amy had started to shake. 'Why can't you?! You said you were my friend! You said you would always be my friend! Why are you doing this to me?!" She screamed at Jim. The fight with her boyfriend, the breakup, and the bad day at work had sent her over the edge. She had driven blindly to Jim's house - after all, Jim would make it all better. He always made it all better.
"I am your friend, but you know I can't deal with this anymore. You know how I feel... how I have felt for so long. You can't expect me to stand here and take this anymore." His voice had grown loud and ragged. He hated to see her cry. Her tears, her pain, had torn a hole in his heart. He wanted to hold her, caress her hair, and tell her everything was going to be alright. Why not? It would feel good, it would stop her tears. But he couldn't. He couldn't keep doing that to himself, or to her either. She needed to stand without him - she would just keep trying to lean on him if he kept enabling her. He couldn't live life has her yo-yo. "Stop crying and go home Amy." His tone was rougher than he had intended, but he was past the point of being able to control it any longer. "Go home," he repeated. "Take a hot bath, eat some ice-cream, keep a box of tissues handy and you'll be fine in a week." He shut the door.
He could still hear her crying and sniffling through the door. After what seemed like forever, he heard her car start and the crunching of the gravel under its tires as she pulled out of the dirveway and onto the road. He heard the engine whine as she drove away.
The waves of pain came crashing over him. His tears flowed freely as the sobs wracked his body. It was the right thing to do wasn't it? Wasn't this the way to keep from being hurt by her again? Wasn't this the way to help them both grow up? The questions pounded at him relentlessly. If this was the right way, why did it hurt so much?
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